Good evening. My name is John Caiella. I am an editor.

Chances are, if you are reading this, you are not an editor. That is quite alright, as I think you will find my ability to scale down my rhetoric for non-editors to be uncanny. There is also a possibility that you haven’t edited anything significant in your entire life. While most unsettling, this is also quite alright.

Allow me to explain my editorship. I edit a section of this fine publication called “The Deep End.” “The Deep End” is a glorious section where the reader may rest his or her feet after a grueling journey through the “facts,” “research,” and “legitimate articles” of the Lifeguard.

Whence this journey arrives at the doorstep of the humble “Deep End” there is a myriad of different stories. All of which are completely true, as far as you know.

As editor of this fine section, I must painstakingly take each article into consideration and edit it anywhere from 30 to 70 times. Each time “The Deep End” appears in print (or pixel!) it contains over 1000 edits. Amazing, I know.

But the main reason I pour my sweat and blood into this section? You. I want you to feel comfortable here. The other sections of the paper can feel like your parents. Always getting into your business making you “think.” I want “The Deep End” to feel like your home away from home. Like your cool uncle’s house.

Which is why you are going to see some new things about “The Deep End” which myself and my associates hope you will enjoy.

With the introduction of the online addition to our publication we will now bring you much more computer friendly deep endings. This includes “The Deep End Show” which will be out periodically, and will be periodically funny.

Also, I want this to be in some manners the people’s section. So if you ever want to send in your ideas, I will take each one of them into consideration! Just shoot me an electronic mail message: jcaiella@thelifeguardonline.com

Well, I must return to editing. I hope you enjoy reading/watching/listening to “The Deep End” as much as I have editing it!