It’s been nearly 10 months since Conan O’Brien hosted his final Tonight Show on NBC before leaving the network in January. Between then and November 8th, the day his newest project, Conan, aired on TBS, what did he come up with? Mediocrity.

Now, I’m not television critic, just a lost columnist trying to find his way on the path of semi-humorous high school writing–using the terms columnist, semi-humorous, and writing very loosely. But, watching the series premiere of Conan was a bloody disappointment. [Editor's note: If Corey were a television critic, he would, of course, be British.]

Some in the industry have called the show a more laid back edition of the typical late night talk show, and a revival of classic Conan. They must have been dreaming, ‘cuz Cap’n Coco put me to sleep.

The monologue was a few NBC jokes, some of which were punchy, to be fair, but most were either already assumed, not funny, or a perfect combination of the two. With a scruffy beard comparable to (insert favorite homeless guy here) and his trademark hair looking rather snooki-ish, the show lacked development, direction, and pure comedy, something that could have been worked on for months.

Conan’s typical style of quirky humor was evident, but in smaller, goofier doses, lacking the strong punchlines that set up a goof-ball gag. Though his guests included A- to B+ list celebs, including the hilarious Seth Rogan, their conversations were short and not much was accomplished. As far as additional segments were concerned, the urge to laugh was mysteriously missing from my lower belly. Comic Ricky Gervais made a small cameo that was fairly humorous, but not enough to change my mind. Sorry.

The set: eh.

The band: ight.

The crew: can’t complain.

The audience: who cares?

Sidekick Andy Richter: hey…the dude was funny.

Now I realize that Richter had an all-star comedian to set him up, but his quick, punchy, gut-busting comments were impressive. They made me…dare I say it…chuckle.

In anticipation of the groundbreaking basic cable event, Conan reeled in over 4 million viewers for his series premiere. Now, I would usually feel bad about ripping on the red head like this, but I realize, I’m not alone.

On Tuesday (Episode 2), ratings dropped by nearly one-third, bringing in only 2.8 million viewers.

“Conan O’Brien just won’t drop the NBC thing”, said the headline on the Los Angeles Times showtracker blog. And it’s true. After a year of turmoil, we expect more than just NBC bashers. Yeah, a few are assumed, even accepted, but where’s the funny?

Listen Coco, I’m willing to give you another chance. But please, blow me away. Knock me off my feet!

If not, America is left asking, what time is Lopez on? ¡Ay!